


Let My Mind Rest

by Aces_and_Roses



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, apparently I have a thing for giving Hamid nightmares huh, wonder what that says about me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 19:08:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19751971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aces_and_Roses/pseuds/Aces_and_Roses
Summary: It had been… an incredibly long day, and there was nothing that Hamid wanted to do more than sleep. Everything hurt, muscles aching and sore, the light from the setting sun feeling as though it was driving spikes directly into his brain. And yet, awake he remained, his bone-deep exhaustion doing nothing in the face of the terrifying images his brain conjured up whenever he closed his eyes.





	Let My Mind Rest

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently, I've been in quite a writing mood lately. Credit to the Hozier random fanfic title generator for giving me something to call this (titles are the bane of my existence).

It had been… an incredibly long day, and there was nothing that Hamid wanted to do more at that moment than sleep. Everything hurt, his muscles aching and sore, the light from the setting sun feeling as though it was driving spikes directly into his brain. And yet, awake he remained, his bone-deep exhaustion doing nothing in the face of the terrifying images his brain conjured up whenever he closed his eyes (horrible creatures made of bones and blood, the pounding of his own heart overwhelmingly loud as they reached, reached, _reached_ for him, _into him_ -).

Whenever this happened, both in the past and now, Hamid always awoke gasping desperately for air, shaking so hard his teeth chattered, clawed fingers digging desperately into his own arms as he tried to regain his senses (the pain grounding him as he slowly came back to himself, thin trickles of blood running down his arms from where the claws broke skin). He would sit up, try to control his breathing, quiet down his sobs enough that he wouldn’t wake up the others. He never seemed to succeed, however, at least one other member of the party inevitably being woken up with him.

Often it was Sasha. She was a pretty light sleeper anyway, and the sounds of him shifting around were frequently sufficient to wake her up. She was always quiet, when it happened, simply moving to sit next to Hamid until the shaking stopped, until his sobs had calmed into even breaths once more. They wouldn’t touch, but she sat close enough that he could feel the heat of her next to him, and Hamid found that that was enough.

The first time it had woken Azu up, she sat up with him - one arm around his shoulders in a half-hug, a reassuring pressure - for three hours, until Hamid finally managed to fall back asleep (despite his many protests, and all his attempts to reassure her that he would be fine on his own). Now, every time she opened her eyes to see Hamid shaking she held him tight until it stopped, and they fell asleep together; Hamid laying practically on top of her, her arms solid and secure around him.

The few times he’d managed to disturb Grizzop, they always went for a walk (ostensibly to check the perimeter, but…). They’d talk quietly, for fear of waking up the others, Grizzop somehow always managing to distract Hamid so thoroughly that the contents of the nightmare soon faded from his memory. When they finally got back to wherever the rest of the party was sleeping, they’d lay down wherever they’d been before and try to sleep again themselves (and if Hamid never actually saw Grizzop go to sleep before him, well... That was between the two of them).

(His nightmares had never managed to disturb Bertie, back when he’d been-)

This time it was Zolf, jostled awake by his arm being moved as Hamid sat up, shifting from where it had been resting over Hamid's waist, holding Hamid against him. Zolf groaned quietly, his eyes fluttering open slowly as he pushed himself up on one elbow. He rubbed at one of his eyes with the back of his hand as he sat up as well. “Hamid?” he whispered, his voice rough with sleep.

Hamid didn’t, couldn’t respond, still shaking too hard to form words, having only just managed to convince his hands (claws) to release their death grip on his arms. He felt rivulets of liquid (blood) trickling down his arms as he sat, completely still and silent apart from his uncontrollable shaking, vainly hoping that Zolf would just go back to sleep (he hated disturbing him like this, when Zolf's sleep was so often interrupted by his own night terrors. He didn't need to lose sleep for Hamid's as well).

It didn't appear that Hamid would get what he hoped for, however, as Zolf spoke again, sounding slightly more awake. "Nightmares again?" Hamid nodded, hoping that Zolf would be able to see the movement in the darkness of their room. "What do you need?"

(That had always been what Zolf had done, even before they'd gotten together, he always asked Hamid what he needed from him. Hamid didn't need to respond verbally, Zolf had made that clear the first time; when Hamid's shaking had gotten so bad he'd nearly bitten off his own tongue trying to talk. But, as Zolf had established that very first time, whatever Hamid felt like he needed at that moment - be that to talk, or a hug, or just to sit in companionable silence for a while - he would do it.)

Hamid gently pushed Zolf’s shoulder until he was laying down again, and arranged himself with his arm over Zolf’s chest, his head tucked under Zolf’s chin. He sighed as he settled in, already feeling his shaking begin to slow as Zolf’s arm came up to wrap around his shoulders, pulling him closer. Zolf pressed a kiss into Hamid’s hair, keeping his lips there for a moment, just breathing, before laying his head back down onto the pillow.

Hamid closed his eyes, trying to slow his breathing (trying to calm himself enough to feign having gone back to sleep, even if he hadn't really managed it), focusing on the feeling of Zolf against him, but the images pushed their way to the surface once more the moment his eyes were closed (blood and bones and his friends dead on the floor). He took an unsteady breath, the shaking returning with a vengeance, leaving him practically vibrating, desperately clutching at the arm Zolf didn't have wrapped around him. Zolf noticed the shaking, his hand starting to stroke soothingly up and down Hamid's back; a low, background sensation, but just enough for Hamid to ground himself (the creature wasn't real, it wasn't there, it couldn't hurt him, it couldn't hurt _Zolf_ ).

(This wasn't normal. Usually, once he woke up the nightmare would begin to fade, grow less vivid with every moment awake until it was almost impossible to recall, even after he closed his eyes once more. But this time, with every moment his eyes were closed the images, the nightmare, became stronger. His mind flashed back to the spellcaster from that morning, the bolt of energy that had hit him straight in the chest, sending a spike of pain through him, and with it the first flash of the creature that seemed to be haunting him now.)

(Hamid knew he wasn’t going to be getting any rest that night.)

“Hamid…” Hamid hummed quietly, trying to loosen his grip on Zolf’s arm when he noticed the slightly strained quality to his voice. He nuzzled further into Zolf as he did so (he was warm and solid and so, so real against him. Realer than the _thing_ behind his eyelids, he needed to keep reminding himself), and Zolf pressed another kiss to the top of Hamid’s head. “I love you.”

Hamid remained quiet for a few minutes (just because Hamid couldn’t sleep didn’t mean Zolf shouldn’t, right?), before responding, “Go back to sleep, Zolf. I’ll be fine.”

Hamid felt Zolf shake his head, slowly. “Not until you can.”

“I… I don’t think I’ll be able to.”

The hand stroking up and down Hamid’s back stilled for a moment, instead pulling Hamid closer with a reassuring pressure. “Then I won’t either.”

“Zolf…”

“Yes, Hamid?”

Something in Zolf’s voice, something hard and stubborn about his tone, told Hamid that he wasn’t going to give in. Hamid didn’t bother trying to convince him (he knew Zolf well enough to know that it wasn’t worth the effort). “I love you, too.”

(By the time the dawn light filtered in through the gaps in the blinds, hours later, Hamid had only gotten about half an hour of sleep. But every time he’d woken up, shaking, tears streaking his face, Zolf had been there. He’d been there, warm and solid, ready to help Hamid in whatever way he could.)

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all can find me at redactedquill on tumblr. Shoot me a prompt if you want :)


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